So two seconds after my mom got home tonight, she got Olivia into one troll box and then tried to get me into the other. I tried to be as trollish as I possibly could but despite my best efforts I was eventually trapped like a rat.
Well. If that weren't bad enough, I had to ride to the cat fix-it place double-decker-style with me on the bottom and the squealing Olivia on top! I nearly went deaf.
And then, if all of that weren't bad enough, everybody was making fun of my weight! Right in front of me! It was just so unbelievable, everybody calling me "Chubby" and making jokes about how their backs almost went out carrying me! And even though I guess I'm the fattest thing anyone has ever seen in the history of the world, they managed to take blood in preparation for an upcoming dental cleaning! I mean, do you suppose they'll have extra-sturdy tables to use as they torture me while I'm out like a light? Bast knows, I might crush one otherwise!
The final insult came when on the ride home I got the top spot, but by then it was dark and I didn't get to see anything.
I'm calling Amnesty International just as soon as I come out of hiding.
Hahahaha - ooopps ... I mean, we shouldn't laugh!
ReplyDeleteWe are very sure, the weight is all muscles! Like ours too...
By the way, can we have Amnesty direct line too??
Love, Lucky & Co
But...but...but William!!! You're supposed to be the "Tiny Boy"!
ReplyDeleteOr maybe you're tiny like Tiny Johnson. Oh, we get it. As long as you don't have to DIEt or anything.
Well, at least when we are in the PTUs going to the vet, we get ours facing each other so we dont feel so alone!
ReplyDeleteWilliam, what a rotten night you had. And hey, don't they know you are just big boned?
ReplyDeleteWilliam, that is just terrible! I am not sure what that troll box is but it sounds simply dreadful. And I think it's terribly mean of all of those fix it people to make fun of your weight. That's just not nice! We think you are beautiful no matter what you weigh, and we're sorry you got deaf on the way to the fix it place and were basically blind on the way back. I hope Caroline, Russell and Gracie weren't trollish to you when you got back. That would just be adding insult to injury! I think you should go find some weather stripping to tear off - it will make you feel better, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteDood, it's all muscle, we all know that! But it sucks about the dental work. Don't give my people any ideas about that...
ReplyDeleteWhoa, that was cruelty in the First Degree! Hold on, William, I am calling out the Coast Guard!
ReplyDeleteSome cats just have denser bones than others. How DARE they!
ReplyDeleteThat double decker troll box thing sounds precarious. Did Olivia shut up on the way home?
OMC, we're horrified for you! Mom? Mom, why are you laughing?! Mom!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is just appalling! How could they?
ReplyDeleteWe all feel for you William! Hope says that teeth cleaning is easy...just don't let them steal any of your teeth while you are out like a light. I think you are very handsome and my brother Tommy has offered to come with you to the dental cleaning and show them what chubby really looks like...he really is the biggest cat in the world! Hope Olivia is feeling better too.
ReplyDeleteThat is so wrong. And yuck--then they want to take your teeth? Is that like so you can't eat? Let me tell you--you will still be able to eat...
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, Mr. William, we're sorry you and Miss Olivia had to go to the vet. And we're doubly sorry they made fun of your weight. And we're TRIPLY sorry you have to have your teefs cleaned. We hope you get weather stripping, snuggles, and treats to make up for all of this.
ReplyDeleteAh William, you are so right to be cross. I'll testify to the 'pain and suffering' of being ridiculed for your weight.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you made it out alive!
oh William, how HORRIBLE. BTW - Billy is getting close to the fattest thing ever in the history of the earth.
ReplyDeleteAt least when the v-e-t was talking dental with your mom, that could've been outside of your presence.
ReplyDeleteBut, we hope you and Olivia checked out well.
Don't they know how rude it is to laugh at a manly body? I get the same thing all the time. Even though I lost 3lbs, mum still calls me HumpaLump. She says she has to weigh us again because she thinks I may have put some weight back on. Could be trouble.
ReplyDeleteEric
Sorry you had a bad day William. Hope you have better weekend.
ReplyDeleteOh William, The Human laughed and laughed and laughed when she read your tale of woe. That's prolly because she's a little well, "chubby," herself and shares your pain.
ReplyDeleteMe, I don't think it's funny at all. Humans who make fun of kittehs will be punished. Count on it.
William...that's just not right!!! A handsome panther like you and they tease you :o
ReplyDeleteWell, I hope their backs DO go out! Serves them right!!!!!! heh,heh,heh
Purrs Mickey
William ... we MISS YOU! Are you ok? And where are the rest of the kids? It is Tuesday ... where is The Pretzel?
ReplyDelete