Monday, June 12, 2006

The Five Things.

1. If you feed Eddie his special baby food, you must do it by hand with his special spoon. He will not eat it out of a bowl. I mean, it's good that he's not barfing all over the place and that he's put on some weight, but really. He's such a baby.

2. If you put out that specially-bought icky Tender Vittles for Eddie to nibble on when he's waiting for you to get home to feed him, he's not the one eating it. I don't know anybody who eats that stuff. Mom, it's terrible. Well, actually, I do. It's Caroline. She's like a little sheep-shaped garbage disposal.

3. If you smell something "funny" but can't see anything right off? Check our food dish. This morning the little garbage disposal vacuumed up some food and it came right back out. This was tough to eat around, I tell you what.

4. Speaking of Caroline, please keep her toenails in check. Today she was playing with me so hard that I had to cry emit one of those high-pitched troll squeals to get her off me. I don't like that.

5. You know those special treat vitamins you got for Eddie? He won't eat them. But I will! And, gosh, I put up with SO MUCH that I need some extra vitamins!

10 comments:

  1. Squilliam, why I think it's fine you needed to "emit one of those high-pitched troll squeals," I want you to know that it's okay to cry.

    In fact, I find it ultra-masculine when a tomcat is in touch with his emotions...

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  2. How disgusting about your food bowel. That's about the only time having a woofie in the house comes in handy. Unfortunately, we have experience.

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  3. Poor Wm! Too bad you have to write your Mom to get her to notice what you need done around the house.

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  4. Hmphf. I'm not sure about ultra masculine, Kukka-Maria. Thought certainly I'm good at getting other cats to emit them!

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  5. Yeah, my brother's nails need to be trimmed, too. He'll eat everything, including something called raspberry vinegarette. Ugh.

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  6. Don't you just love how humans will walk around the whole house, sniffing every item along the way, wondering what the strange scent is when you know perfectly well its your "returned meals"?

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  7. Mom's are so funny - they just don't see the obvious sometimes. You're a good tiny boy to point those things out for your mom, William. Keep up the good work!

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  8. Ugh. I can so sympathize with you, especially about the food dish thing. I hate it when the Brats do that. They eat so fast and then throw all that perfectly good food right up. At least throw up outside the bowl so we don't have to eat around it. Bah.

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  9. Hmmm...Eddie reminds me of Hank, the dog we used to have. For a while he suckered the People into feeding him chunks of Alpo off the end of a fork. It took forever, but they sat there and did it. Go figure!

    It got better...then he convinced the Woman to COOK people food for him! He was a crafty old dog, for sure!

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  10. Shadow, who won't let Mom clip her nails, occasionally leaves one in Ko Ko. Barf in a food bowl is really gross. ~Merlin, Shadow, Ko KO

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Wowee meowee.